Two Weeks Till Friday (?) welcome to ambivalence.

Steve Martin Once Saved My Life

Ok, that may be a bit over dramatic. But he did save me once from getting punched in the gut and probably spit on.

In 1977, Steve Martin came out with his first album, Let's Get Small. Probably not an appropriate thing for a 9 or 10 year old boy to be listening to which most likely made it that much more compelling. My best friend at the time Greg Reimer and I listened to the comedy of Steve Martin non stop to the point where we had every single bit memorized. Start to end. He could start off one line and I could finish. One word would trigger a reaction that had us reciting every bit line by line. Memorizing the words wasn't enough, you had to master Steve's rhythm of speech. If you've heard his act, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Steve Martin didn't just get up on stage and deliver lines. He didn't just deliver jokes with a punch line. He spewed absurdity with this crazy, flowing, smarmy 'accent' that was uniquely him, uniquely hilarious, and well ahead of his time. So much so, that Let's Get Small reached #10 on the Billboard Pop Album Chart.

When we were in grade 4, we had a school bully. Like every school out there I'm sure, there was always that one kid, either in your grade or a couple above, that made your life a living hell. We had one. On more than a few occasions, he would knock your books out of your hands then kick them out across the icy street or into a snow bank (if you were lucky) or he would punch you in the stomach if you were less lucky. Jeff McNeal. A grade sixer. We hated this guy. 'Jeff McNeal the banana peel' is what we would call him. Not to his face of course... Looking back on it now, that was a pretty lame slag name... We however thought we were pretty darn clever.

One winter day, Greg and I were on our way up to school. I can remember the moment like it was yesterday. We were a couple hundred yards from the school, running late as usual and who should emerge from the back lane but Jeff McNeal. He came up to us looking for... whatever. Who knows what bullies really want. Now keep in mind that neither Greg nor myself have actually ever talked to Jeff. You don't 'talk' with Jeff, you just try and stay away from him.

Probably as a preemptive strike, Greg turns to me and says "Paul, why don't you tell Jeff why you're so f@#%ing funny?"

"..."

I know exactly what Greg is getting me to do. It's a Steve Martin bit that apparently Greg thinks is hilarious. What Greg has done is the equivalent of tripping me while we're both running away from a grizzly.

Jeff looks at me to respond.

Greg just looks at me with this really big stupid smile on his face.

If I don't say something, Jeff will beat me. He will beat me good. Or at least so I thought in my 10 year old brain.

So, in the best Steve Martin accent I could muster, I start.

You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Paul... how can you be sooo f@%*ing funny?"

There's a secret to it, it's no big deal... Before I go to school, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I get to school... I feeeel funny.

That's it. That's one of Steve's lines from the album. It hadn't really occurred to me that Jeff had no idea that I was 'impersonating' Steve Martin. In fact, I don't believe Jeff McNeal had ever listened to a Steve Martin album. So as far as he was concerned, he just had some 4th grader tell him that he's funny because he puts bologna in his shoes before coming to school.

Jeff had no idea if this was suppose to be funny? Was I telling a joke? Were we making conversation? Do people really ask me why I'm so funny?

He just kind of smiled (i guess), snorted, and walked off. And I'm pretty sure I turned and smacked Greg pretty hard. That was the only conversation I can every remember having with Jeff McNeal.

Looking back now at the comedic styling of Steve Martin's routine, this is what he was about and why he paved ways for a different kind of comedy. He took comedy away from punch lines. He wasn't the only one to do this but he was the most successful at the time. By taking away the punch line, you let people laugh when they want to laugh. At the swearing? At the bologna? At the 'feeling funny'? Is this even funny? Or is it too absurd? Maybe you'll laugh later. Maybe you won't laugh at all. Is this a joke? I still think Jeff doesn't know.

But to me, acting as Steve Martin, it was flippin' hilarious.

We just got back from "An Evening With Steve Martin" at the Orpheum where he was 'interviewed' by George Stroumboulopoulos from The Hour. While he's no longer doing the absurd comedy that made him famous, you can still see that he's still got a little bit of that wild and crazy guy left in him. And the man is dead funny.